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Rob Rock: Holy hell

09/10/08 || HailandKill

This is it. The most earthshaking album in the pantheon of christian melodic power metal (gotta be specific here). No matter what your religion is, you cannot deny that “Holy Hell” fuckin’ smokes. Going a step further than anyone else from the same genre, the lyrics throughout this album might be plain (and the cover art leaves much to be desired), but the music totally compensates. Who the fuck won’t be bowled over by “Slayer of Souls”? And if you fail to be bowled over, you must be sterile or sumthin’.

Seriously, “Slayer of Souls” is the heaviest melodic romp of the decade. It thrashes, it pulverizes, it’s like you’re being run over by a tank. Amidst its own frenzy comes Rob Rock’s distinctive voice, belting out the lyrics like the cliché: “As if his life depended on it”. With blazing leads, a noodly solo, and enough brutality to make even the most diehardest thrash metal fan blush, “Slayer of Souls” literally slays its listener’s initial misgivings, providing ample proof that “Holy Hell” is a rock solid album. Pun fuckin’ intended.

Still not convinced? Allow this reviewer to name all the other bands Rob Rock puts to shame: Dream Evil, Edguy, Elven King, Gamma Ray, Grave Digger, HammerFall, Helloween, Lost Horizon, Metal Church, Metalium, U.D.O., and the rest of the power metal tribe. Look, if you’re into any of these bands, “Holy Hell” does their sound better. When “Holy Hell” gets heavy, your testicles tremble. When its softer side is unleashed, your nipples tickle.

“First Winds in the End of Time” continues to display Rob Rock’s penchant for 80’s metal. It’s chock full of gallops, churning riffs, thumping drums and smashing guitars; from here on in its pure fist pumping arena rock nostalgia till the very last song. “Calling Angles” is a thrilling melodic rocker that you know has been done before, but you just can’t help falling in love with. On the other hand, title track “Holy Hell” is done in the same vein as the album opener, barbecuing your ears and taking no prisoners. The back-to-back wallop that follows, “Lion of Judah” and “I’m A Warrior”, further establish the whole album’s consistency. However, between the two, “I’m A Warrior” proves so cheesy, it makes you wanna grab the nearest sword and slay a demon (well, this is christian power metal). Reprieve comes with the softer “I’ll Be Waiting” and then returns to its previous pitch on the ominous “When Darkness Reigns”. “The Revelation” marks the closing of the curtains, where Rob Rock wails its dramatic chorus to a shimmering rhythm. Then all of a sudden, just when you think the album is excellently finished, everything takes a nosedive when he and Edguy singer Tobias Sammet share microphones for the karaoke song that’s “Move On”. Seriously now, it isn’t even a decent metal ballad. The mental images it brings to mind are the two singers holding hands and prancing across a grassy meadow while exchanging syrupy verses. It’s friggin’ weird.

In summation, Rob Rock is a perfect singer/songwriter and with the help of a dozen guest musicians, he pulls off 2005’s biggest kick in the ass besides Nevermore’s “This Godless Endeavor”. What’s this? The two albums can’t be compared? Alright then, let a compromise be made: They both plant a foot on your hairy derriere.

Happy now?

9 Christian prayers for better cover art on Rob Rock’s 2009 album out of 10

Information
Released: 2005
Label: AFM Records
Website: www.robrock.com
Band
Rob Rock: vocals
Carl Johan Grimmarck: rhythm guitar
Daniel Hall: drums
Andreas Olsson: bass
Andreas Johansson: drums

Tracklist
01. Slayer of Souls
02. First Winds in the End of Time
03. Calling Angels
04. Holy Hell
05. Lion of Judah
06. I’m A Warrior
07. I’ll Be Waiting For You
08. When Darkness Reigns
09. The Revelation
10. Move On

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